Fred, Son of Sparda
by Zeioinsanity
Summary: Meet Fred, the least epic of the son's of Sparda. Watch and laugh Fred as he stumbles from one situation into another.


_**Fred, Son of Sparda Chapter One, Volume One**_

_**Disclaimer:**_ I make no claim to the characters in the fic below unless they are OCs then they are mine and mine alone! (Hey that ryhmed!)

**A/N:** Hi faceless masses that is the interwebs! *Cues applause sign* Anyway, this Idea came to me out of the blue. A warning to anyone expecting a serious DMC fic: Are you out of you're fricken mind? There is so much craziness going on in the DMC universe that my OC will be barely a drop in the pond! *Points towards the scene in DMC3 where Dante twirls around a _Motorcycle_ while flying through the air* Anyway, let's get this party started! *Growns at the quote* Oh ya, like all my work this verse is going to be a multi-cross over.

_**Fred, Son of Sparda in: BEGINNINGS! The Early Years!**_

**The 60's, Woodstock...**

Sparda, the Devil Knight who defeated Mundis's legions before sealing the Big Bad himself away, sat looking stupidly down at the tray of 'Special' brownies he had just consumed. He was siting infront of a van that had the words _'Mystery Machine'_ painted on its side.

At least he thought it said that until the large dog siting beside him started to speak and he started to doubt reality. The shaggy haired man in front of him started to giggle uncontrollably, which, _naturally_ caused him to join in.

This continued for a few minutes untill both ran out of breath. Sparta rose unsteadily to his feet stumbled and away, unsure why he had gotten up in the first place. Garbing his face (which later sons would share) he made his way toward another nearby group. Sparta, hand still covering his face, promptly tripped and fell face first at the feet of a attractive blond women.

Dobbie in hand, the women took another hit and said, "Bad trip man?" The only thing that Sparda could say in response was, "Groovy..." The women nodded sagely, as if he had just told her one of the secrets to life. Sparda got to his feet slowly and stared as the Chubacabura that had appeared behind the women started to talk to him in French.

The women, thinking he was staring at her, smiled and said, "My name is Star Sparkle." Sparda nodded never taking his eyes away from the thing behind her (Which at this point had started to speak in Mandarin) and replied, "Groovy..."

Star Sparkle once again nodded and took a hit before answering him, "That's nice, say, my tents not far away. We could, you know, have sex?" Sparda, Supreme Kicker of Ass and all round Bad Ass, nodded (the Chubacabura had started to impersonate Elvis at this point) and replied, "Groovy..." Star Sparkle nodded and grabbed him by the hand and started to lead him to her tent.

What happened next is probably best left for another time, but, suffice it to say that one was not sure what plane of reality he was on and the other was too high to care.

**Some Time Later, Tokyo**

Sparda, Face Puncher of Evil, was leading his wife and child through the streets of Ahkihabra and tried to look mainly while succumbing to his wife's will. Their eight year old child was mainly ignoring the commotion his parents where making and was taking in the sights.

Star Sparkle (Real name Helen Wright) pointed at one of the electronics stores and demanded, "I don't care if we have to scrap and save all month. Our boy won the Science Fair and the free tickets to Japan, the least we can do is get him a something!"

Sparda, Super Cool Villain Stomper (You get the Idea), bowed his head submissively and said the only thing that a hero such as himself could say, "Yes dear..." He humbly walked over to the store and started to look for the 'Something' his wife had requested he'd get their son.

A few minutes inside a horrible sound outside got his attention. _Screaming? Wait, I know that scream! _(Helen was a screamer) Rushing outside, Sparta could only stare at the bloody remains of his wife and son.

After a few seconds Sparda sighed and reached into his coat and pulled out a small leather-bound book. After leafing through the pages for a few seconds Sparda found the names he was looking for and crossed them out with a pen.

_I wish I taught the boy some martial arts, then at least he would have known to escape._

Walking closer to the scene Sparda saw the symbol written in blood on both corpses. Snarling, he whipped the personal symbol Mundisis elite used off both of them. Seeing the extent of the damage done to each, Sparda could only shrug and walk away.

_That's the 39th I think, no wait! The 43rd, yeah the 43rd sounds right. Damn, this is becoming hard to remember. Eh, I think I kill those involved, get back to the States, get violently drunk and kill a ass-load of devils __**while**__ drunk._ With those departing thoughts Sparda, Hurt'er of Mean... Things, booked a flight home a few hours later after shedding his current identity and assuming his back up one.

That was the last time Sparda saw his oldest child Fred alive (When you're wife's name is Star Sparkle and your name is Sparda you kinda insist on a normal name).

**Even More Later, Tokyo**

Fred had woken up in a morgue downtown and had promptly freaked out after finding the body of his mother on a table next to him.

The sound of his cries had summoned the night staff and _they_ promptly freaked out after finding a boy that had been dead for a few hours up and about. The sudden entrance and the subsequent announcement that he was a 'Demon' scared him so badly that he fled the scene and spent the next two hours in a embarrassing (He was naked) chase with some local monks.

After wandering the streets of Tokyo for a few hours Fred had a sudden realization: He was alone in a foreign country who's language he could _sort _of understand. After huddling behind a discarded TV box for a hour or so, he cried himself to sleep and promptly passed out.

A few day's later Fred was starting to get _really_ hungry. He didn't have any local money and had spent the couple of dollars his dad had given him on street vendors.

His first theft was in a alleyway near a open air market. He had watched one of the fruit vendors for a hour before he struck. The man who ran the booth was vaguely familiar but Fred could not place his face for the life of him.

Fred shrugged it off and made his way through the crowd from the alleyway he had been watching from. As he got closer to the vendor he was able to make out what the proprietor of the booth had been repeating endlessly.

"Eyyyy! Fruits! Eyyy! I got's me some fruits fo' sale! Eyyyy!" What made the whole thing kind of surreal for Fred, was once he got close enough he had been able to place the face.

_Holy Shit! It's the Japanese version of the Fonz! He has the hair and everything!_ Fred had been a avid watcher of old sitcoms back in the States.

Shuddering, Fred snatched a few fruits and blended back into the crowd. That was the start of his criminal career. Fruit snatching quickly gave way to pan handling and that quickly worked it's way into boosting wallets.

A few weeks later Fred was becoming quickly convinced that the Japanese government was slipping hallucinogens into the city's water supply. He had been slinking back to the box on the rooftop that he called home when he stumbled in front of a man in a black helmet speaking loudly to a group of delinquents.

"Move peons! I must destroy Britannia and you are impeding my progress!" After the man in the mask got his ass kicked, Fred (Who had been watching from behind a dumpster) promptly stole his wallet and his mask (He pawned it).

A few nights later he watched some stupid looking monster get taken out by a bunch of scantly clad girls in sailor uniforms. When the poorly designed creature died and returned to it's origanal form, a stupid looking human, Fred shook his head (But still stole her wallet).

**_A/N:_** Hey all, if this looks like something I should continue, post some reviews and tell me what I should do.


End file.
